Sat on the edge of the pool, smiling and cooing, my 5-month-old son was just about to take his first swimming lesson. I had an anxious feeling in my tummy as I wasn’t sure whether he would like it or not and worried about how he would react but Max had other ideas. He just went for it, not a care in the world and fully embraced this new activity with the same fun loving attitude he has to so many things in his life. He loved every minute of it and took it all in his stride, smiling and giggling without a care in the world. There is no fear in Max’s world right now, everything is new and exciting. He is so keen to learn new things that he just gets on with it, with open eyes and a clear mind…………..
Each and every day I am reminded that FEAR is something we aren’t born with and it is that has been created by our own personal experiences. It is something we can overcome or control as long as we know how. It is only as we get older that we become more aware of fear and allow it to create limitations.
How many times a week do you find yourself saying “I really want to do this BUT… or ‘I’ve been thinking about starting this BUT”.
FEAR of the unknown or of failure is so common and is the responsible for so many of us to not do what we really want to and continue living in autopilot because we know it works and its safe there.
In the past I have been guilty of this on more that several occasions and it used to drive me insane. I had a continuous feeling that there was more to life than what I was doing but I never quite managed to take that leap of faith into the unknown – something was stopping me, and that something was FEAR.
Fast forward a few years I am now running a successful business and am about to launch it online and fulfill another dream of mine. SO what changed for me?
I started to work WITH fear and not AGAINST it……….
- I decided to befriend FEAR.
I decided to use fear as my driving force and befriend it. The truth is fear will always be there at some point but I decided to grab it by the hand and welcome it into my world and on my journey, rather than allowing it to stop me from becoming the person I want to be. To me there is no such thing as failure, it is just a learning opportunity, and so what have you got to lose.
- I Just did it…
Tomorrow never comes if you keep waiting for the right time and moment it will never happen. The more you put something off the more frightening it becomes. I decided to just go for it, like Max in the pool.
I would always find myself saying ‘oh that wasn’t as bad as I thought…’ So in the end I just went for it. The thought of something is ALWAYS worse than the reality.
The first step is the hardest of them all, but you only have to do it once and it can be as small as you want it to be. The important thing is to just do it, you will survive and you will learn.
- I found Support:
Fear and self-doubt flourish in isolation, so don’t feel like you have to do it on your own. Seek help and support, just like I did. Having someone there to share your ideas and to give you a gentle nudge will make all the difference. Share ideas with someone who wants you to succeed or someone you admire from a far and have been there and survived.
- I focused on the Journey NOT the fear:
I decided to forget about the what ifs and the not sure’s, and focus on the journey and what I wanted to achieve instead. We often focus of the fear of failure, the fear of the unknown, the fear of success etc. that we can sometimes forget what is it we are trying to achieve.
- I accentuated the positive:
Instead of thinking about all the things that could go wrong I decided to focus on the positives instead and how it made me feel. I started seeing things through a positive lens, mind flipping the negative what ifs and shutting out the mind monkeys. I wrote down my strengths, my positive attributes, joined social media groups as well as reading inspirational books. I met up with like-minded people who were up beat, motivated and positive.
- Trusted in myself – gut feel.
Finally I started to trust and believe in myself. I followed my intuition and listened to my inner voice. How many times have you said ‘ I know I should have done that, but I didn’t”. I have yet to come across someone who has followed his or her gut instinct and regretted it.
Soooooo next time FEAR comes a knocking, embrace it and invite it along for the ride. You can CONTROL your fear not the other way round. It is all about choices.
Good Luck
Xxx
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